Cheese filled hot dogs

Back to school, back to school, to prove to Dad I'm not a fool. In all honesty, I think that shipped has sailed years ago. I'm a fool, at least at times and my father is completely aware of it.

Regardless, today was the first day of classes.

Step 1: Beeeeep, beeeeep, the alarm goes off bright and early. I'm not complaining, it's been two months since I've had to wake up for a class. It's about time I get my ass in gear.

Step 2: Proceed to the kitchen to sit down for a so called breakfast. El desayuno as sieve! (Breakfast is served). One of cup of hot milk, one glass of pulp (The actual orange juice is non-existent), and 2 pieces of moderately burnt toast. For us Americans, hardly the breakfast of champions. Where in the world are the uncooked steel cut oats I've been accustomed to chowing down every morning!?

Step 3:  Jump in the backseat of your oh so sweet neighbor's European version of a Ford Focus; seriously though Silvina is a saint! That's what they all have in Spain. Us Americans think we give away our nationality easily because we sound like aliens when speaking. Wrong! If you want the entire city of Santander to know you're American, cruise through the compact streets in a lifted Ford pickup blasting Florida Georgia Line (or any over rated cliche country star) until the police pull you over for disturbing the peace. 

Step 4: Get laughed at by nearly every local student. Seriously, they're not even discrete about it! At least in the United States if we're laughing at someone we don't purposely point at them while lol'ing. The least they could have done was pull up the video of Crack Kid on YouTube and pretend they were watching it, jeez!

I'm proofreading this now and bewildered on how I went off on that tangent that seemleasly depicts Billy Madison's first day of school. The only difference is that no one peed their pants, at least as far as I know... All the cool kids do it. 

Moral of the story is that while my oh so sweet neighbor is devouring a perfectly healthy omelette AKA tortilla and mixed greens salad for dinner, I'm clogging my arteries with cheese filled hot dogs. Don't get any ideas Mom, I will feed them to Lizzie (the family dog) if you put those is front of me for dinner when I come home! Needless to say I'm joining the local gym immediately to refrain from blowing up to the size of Chris Christie. 

Other than that slight speed bump, I found wifi four times in one day #NewRecord, walked a half marathon and successfully strolled along the beach without unpredictably amassing a kilogram of sand in my shoes. I'm equally as impressed as you are.